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American MilSim
AMS Forums set to ARCHIVE MODE (POSTING DISABLED). These forums will be used for historical reference, otherwise you can find the AMS event pages located on Facebook.
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DUCKS IN HEAVEN!!!

Three women die together in an accident And go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says,

 

'We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!'

 

So they enter heaven, and sure enough,There are ducks all over the place.It is almost impossible not to step on a duck,And although they try their best to avoid them The first woman accidentally steps on one.Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.St. Peter chains them together and says,

 

'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to[Spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'

 

The next dayThe second woman steps accidentally on a duck]And along comes St. Peter,Who doesn't miss a thing.With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them togetherWith the same admonishment as for the first woman.

 

The third woman has observed all this and,Not wanting to be chainedFor all eternity to an ugly man, is very,VERY careful where she steps.She manages to go monthsWithout stepping on any ducks, ButOne day St.Peter comes up to her]With the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on.... Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

 

The happy woman says,'I wonder what I did to deserve beingChained to you for all of eternity?'

 

The guy says,'I don't know about you,But I stepped on a Duck.

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Subject: drinking and driving

 

 

 

 

I would like to share an experience with you about drinking and driving.

 

As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years.

A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends at the Marriott Hotel and had a few too many beers and some rather nice red wine.

Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before: I took a bus home.

Sure enough I passed a police road block but as it was a bus, they waved it past.

I arrived home safely without incident which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got it.

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Subject: drinking and driving

 

 

 

I would like to share an experience with you about drinking and driving.

 

As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years.

A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends at the Marriott Hotel and had a few too many beers and some rather nice red wine.

Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before: I took a bus home.

Sure enough I passed a police road block but as it was a bus, they waved it past.

I arrived home safely without incident which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got it.

 

So YOU were the guy driving that bus!! I thought the sunglasses and blue beret looked a little funny for a bus driver to be wearing at night.

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Question: Is Sex Work?

 

A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing with his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.

 

He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"

 

A Major chimed in with 75%-25% in favor of work.

 

A Captain said it was 50%-50%.

 

A Lieutenant responded with 25%-75% in favor of pleasure.

 

There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for his opinion.

 

Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure.â€

 

 

The colonel was surprised and asked the PFC why he was so positive sex was all pleasure.

 

 

"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."

 

 

The room fell silent.

God Bless the enlisted man....

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There is something wrong with this picture

 

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Chinese military resourcing: 8 men 1 motorcycle

 

funny-military-shots1.jpg

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